Day 1- 2- 3- 4- 5- 6- 7- 8- 9- 10- 11- 12- 13- 14-
15- 16- 17- 18- 19- 20- 21- 22- 23- 24- 25- 26- 27- 28-
29- 30- 31- 32- 33- 34- 35- 36- 37- 38- 39- 40- 41- 42
43- 44- 94- Six months - Nine months - One Year
My name is Bill Rishsew. I'm married and we have 4 children. Ages
span from 15yrs to 3yrs old. We live in Post Falls Idaho. I am currently going back to
school to finish a Bachelors Degree in Computer Science.
I'm hoping this diary will help someone see things through the eyes
of someone else afflicted with Bells Palsy. Please feel free to email me at either brishsew@sisna.com or riw17502@nidc.edu, Id like to talk to others with the
palsy. Enjoy.
This page is updated daily, so if you have visited before, you will
need to update or refresh (reload) this page with each subsequent visit. (wfr)
Week One 3/21/97 - 3/27/97
Day One: 3/21/97 Woke up this morning at 5:00
am to start my day. It began like any other day. I noticed as I prepared for the
day that my left eyelid felt a little strange. I didn't pay it any mid. After all I
am getting older. I left the House at 6:30 to head for the Computer Lab. As I drove I
tried to eat an apple. When I opened my mouth all the way my neck caught a horrific
cramp on the left side. I must have been pretty funny looking, driving down I90 at 75 mph
trying to rid my self of the neck cramp. This happened a couple more times.
By the time I arrived at the College I was sure something weird was
happening to me. I could feel the side of my face becoming more and more numb. At first I
recognized the feeling as numb, but we all know it's actually muscle control loss and not
feeling. A Stoke!? I couldn't accept that. I'm only 40yrs old and in good health. No High
Blood Pressure or any of those other Stroke causing things have ever been in my history.
I fired up all the computers in the Lab and did all of the Get The
Place Going things. By this time the other Lab Consultants had arrived and were urging me
to get some medical attention. I went to the College Nurse. She assured me it wasn't a
stroke, but that it was Bells Palsy. Who the heck is Bell? She recommended I see an MD
right away and wanted to patch my left eye. Why do you want to patch my left eye? I didn't
know it hadn't been blinking for the last however long. I told her no thanks. The
left eye is my only good eye, and if it's covered, I go mostly nowhere alone.
I saw a Doctor and was put on 60 mg of Prednesone for 5 days and
reduced for 10 days after that, and was cautioned to be patient.
The rest of the day was just the continuation of the facial palsy
and the other rocks in the shoe that come with this infliction.
Day Two 3/22/97 Woke up this morning
thinking, hoping it was a weird dream. Nope, my Bells had progressed some more. I spent
the better part of the day trying to do those great Saturday things and get some studying
out of the way. Today the eye is beginning to give me a lot of trouble. I tried to watch
some TV, College Playoffs. Not really successful at that. So I decided to cover up the
eye. I'm noticing less facial control, but do I ever have an appetite, eat and not
fill up. I haven't asked, but I suspect the medication is doing it to me.
I went on line to see some of the stories out there and found a lot
of people respond to the forums, but I wanted to see a day to day experience. I'm not
going to blame the Doctors. Good Grief! There's only 40,000 of us a year out of how
many people in the US of A? There's no money in it and they say 80 to 90% of us
recover fully. Knock on Wood.
Day Three 3/23/97 Almost all the way gone now. Man I can eat. Really tired. Slept most of the day. Want to be able to go to work in the morning and attend my classes. By the end of the day I believe I had lost all use of my left face, both upper and lower. My eye is really sore. I really try to only use it a little bit, but as I said before I am nearly completely blind in the right eye, so I'm stuck.
Day Four 3/24/97 Went to work and school
today. Man what a mistake! I over used the eye and I am paying for it now. I'm not sure
about these eye drops the Doc gave me. I think they irritate my eye more than help it. No
Classes or Work tomorrow so I will give everything a good rest. I slept a lot again today.
Day Five 3/25/97 Woke up in the middle of the night, felt like something was crawling on the palsy side of my face. I realized it was some of the muscles twitching. I couldn't move any of the muscles voluntarily, but they occasionally move on there own. Hope it's a good sign. I had a Dentist appointment. today. Asked him to please not numb up the right side. I told him it was hard enough to eat and drink with one side already out of commission. He agreed and we got the job done. A good Dentist in word and deed. Some more twitching while I was in the Dentist Chair. Please let this be a good sign. I kept the eye covered all day and will go to school tomorrow.
Day Six 3/26/97 I started taping my eye shut at night instead of just using the eye patch. Seemed to help. Felt a bit claustrophobic though. Went to School and Work today. Kept the eye uncovered all day. Didn't use those eye drops either. Forced myself to blink and held the eye closed from time to time. The face seemed to really jump around today , around my left chin and upper lip. Asked the Professor of Anatomy and Physiology if it might mean anything. He said it showed the nerve was still alive. I take this as a good sign.
Day Seven 3/27/97 Came home from work at 10 am. Got myself excused from class both today and tomorrow. I think I'm paying today for all the exposure of the left eye yesterday! I know I am. I taped it shut late in the afternoon and there it stayed. Yesterday I could voluntarily move the left corner of my mouth and my ‘B’s are sounding almost like ‘B’s now, forget the ‘P’s though. Took it easy the rest of the day. Woke up last night at about Midnight. Couldn't sleep. Felt really uncomfortable. Couldn't move my face at all. Boy oh boy! Stayed up until 4 am, took medication and went to bed. Got up this morning and I could move my face even better than yesterday. Gonna go to the Druggist and see if there is a better eye lubricant out there. I read in the forum that someone recommended an eye drop made with petroleum jelly and mineral oil. We will see.
Week Two 3/28/97 - 4/3/97
Day Eight 3/28/97 Yesterday was really
bad. I have a programming assignment due in my C++ Programming class today and a test in
the same at 2pm. I don't know how I'm gonna do it. Don't plan on using those eye drops any
more. My wife and I went and bought some eye drops that don't have any alcohol in them.
I would do almost anything to get this eye blinking again. I talked
to my sister, her husband was on Prednesone for 14 yrs. Said it made him hungry and
depressed a lot. I haven't been on it long enough to see a lot of affect. It's enough that
I know I don't like it.
Just went on line and neither the program nor the test will be done
today. Teacher is sick and at home today. Next week is Spring Break! Don't know how I will
be spending it. Will be working in the Computer Lab on Campus though. A good day for my
eye.
Day Nine 3/29/97 I got quite a bit of
movement back yesterday on the left side of my face. The left eyebrow is moving
about 1/4 in. All this is voluntary too! Still some twitching in varies parts of my face.
My 'P's are sounding really good. I think the kids are starting to feel relieved about all
of this. They seemed really bothered at first, but wouldn't talk about it much, if
at all. I remember when something would happen to my folks and I would be really
concerned. None of us want to loose our giants.
Was able to spend the day doing two of the things I like to do.
Watched the Arizona State Sun devils win to become the 1st Sun devil team to make it to
the Final 2. They'll be playing Kentucky next. Go Arizona!
The other thing was to do some reading. I read for several hours and
loved every hour of it.
My sleeping has been really bad though. I had been taping the eye.
It bothered me so much I couldn't stand it. Forced myself to keep it on and survived. One
night I couldn't take it anymore. I put the patch on instead. That didn't work so
good either, because I'd keep waking up to either adjust it or to find out where I had
tossed it. I think the tape is my best bet. Keeps the eye sealed.
Day Ten 3/30/97 Easter Sunday. With
the reduced level of Prednesone I've noticed I'm not as hungry. But I'm not sleeping much
at night. It may be due partly to the eye irritation, but I think this crazy drug does a
lot of goofy things to us. I'll just be sitting as still as a cat and will break out in a
serious sweat.
The facial muscles are starting to gain a lot more movement. Not a
lot, but compared to nothing, it's great. Still no eyebrow, corner of mouth and most
distressing no eyelid blink. A good friend was over the other night. We decided to watch
some TV, I sat there amazed at how often people blink their eyes, he was convinced I was
continuing off of the edge. I want to Blink!
All in all a good day.
Day Eleven 3/31/97 No classes this
week, Spring Break, but did work in the Computer Lab. Rearranged 4 Lab rooms and set up 13
New Pentiums. I think my body went for a trip today. With the Prednesone and all of the
moving around, lifting and working hard I felt like I was on mass doses of some kind of
stimulant. Made me really antsy! I didn't like it at all, just felt like it was hard to
settle down. Seemed to loose a little movement in the face also.
Actually feel tired, I'll try for a FULL nights rest.
Day Twelve 4/1/97 Still can't sleep
the whole night. Maybe 4-5 hours tops. Doesn't seem to run me to far down though. I have a
follow up with the Doctor today, so I'll ask her about it.
Sunny day. The ride over to Spokane was nice, just a little to sunny
for an eye that can't close without some kind of external mechanical assistance. The
Doctor told me I should expect all kinds of side effects from Prednesone. Their severity
seem to be dependent on the length of time a person is on it. She also said that if I were
to look up Prednesone and read about it I'd probably refuse to take it. "These are
the kinds of things we put up with hearing at a Veterans' Hospital", "FREE"
medicine, not bedside manners", but don't get me started down that road.
I'll find a link about Prednesone and include it in this diary.
My blood pressure was up a bit and I've put on some weight, but all
in all I'm well on my way to recovery. In fact it is thought to be a full recovery. I sure
hope so, cuz ya never know till ya get there.
Still feel a little antsy about things, but I'm about to taper the
Prednesone down to 20 mg/day. I am really looking forward to being Prednesone fee. Tired
of the GAS, funny taste in the mouth, sweats, sleeplessness, etc.
Day Thirteen 4/2/97 I guess at one
point last night I took the tape off of the eye. Seems to me I believed the lid was
working. I paid for it all day today, the eye was killing me! Found an eye drop that
doesn't have any alcohol in it and feels kind of oily when I put it in. It's great!
Other than a sore eye, I have a working eyebrow now, about 80%, and
I can begin a faint smile. Food and water still want to come out of the left side though,
but I'm very grateful for the improvements. It's not so obvious to those around me, that
is that don't know me, that I'm recovering from Bell's. Still get those, "Should I
ask him what's wrong with his face looks." I just tell them about my latest adventure
with this very complex thing we call a body and they seem relieved.
Day Fourteen 4/3/97 Even though I
kept the eye taped all night, it was a bit sore today. Didn't have to go to the Lab until
noon, but spent the rest of the day using the eye hard. I think I'm experiencing some of
the withdrawal symptoms already. Feel anxious, can't say about what though, just
kinda on pins and needles.
I had a pretty restful night last night. Would have been better if I
had remembered to take my Prednesone. Woke up feeling crazy. I've always been the one who
is affected more by drugs than most other folks, so I got up, I was hungry anyway, and
took the Prednesone. I've been having a lot more sweat spells, seem to come 1-2
hours after I take the Prednesone. Sitting still as can be and the sweating starts.
I'll be really glad when I am off of this stuff completely.
The eyebrow seems to be 100%, still can't get a smile and food, well
you know the drill by now. I'll probably get the smile, food retention capabilities and
blink at the end. I'm keeping my head up and I seem to spend more time reassuring
concerned friends and family than getting reassurance.
Feel really tired tonight, cross my fingers for a full nights sleep.
Week Three 4/4/97 - 4/10/97
Day Fifteen 4/4/97 In bed at Midnight
and up at 8 am. Felt good. Wasn't the best sleep, but didn't get up all night. Need to
write down some of these dreams and send them to the writers' of The Twilight Zone!
A pretty typical day.
Typical except that I heard from a person with the Bell's Palsy as a
result of my Diary. When I checked my Email I was really excited to see a response. I
heard from a young lady named Frances today, She's 6 months into the Bell's Palsy roller
coaster ride, bet she has a lot of good counsel fran1013@warwick.net,
drop her a line or two. I think it helps to talk to each other. I don't know about you,
but I haven't bumped, by happen stance, into a fellow Bell's victim on the street. We need
each other. So now I have a bit more energy to keep up the Diary.
A new side effect, maybe of the Prednesone, my left foot feels like
someone is pouring hot water into my shoe. When it first started it was warm, but
the past few days the feel has become hotter. I'd really like to hear about some of the
other side effects everyone else gets.
It's getting late, I'm gonna post this and go veg in front of the TV
for a while. Thanks for listening, and I'd really like to hear from you all.
Day Sixteen 4/5/97 Man-o-Man! A
really tough night. Couldn't go to sleep to save my life. Funny, because at the
Doctors yesterday I couldn't stay awake. I was scheduled for an MRI, the VA is
re-evaluating by lower back, and while in that tube I was out for 45 minutes. I think the
tapping noise was very soothing to me. Woke myself up a couple of times snoring! I think
there is a microphone in the tube and I wonder what the ladies doing the test were
thinking.
Stayed awake till 4 am, watched TV and read. The main cause
of the sleeplessness was my stomach. Seems almost like the food takes a really long time
to go through and sometimes seems to just sit there. Got up at 7 am and did some Honey
Does. We had a little BBQ, ate my most favorite things: BBQ Cheese Burgers and Potato
Salad! The other is Pepsi Cola, but I read that the caffeine mixed with the Prednesone can
contribute to the difficulty sleeping. So today I am staying caffeine free.
Still the same old thing with the eye. Kari says it's beginning to
move when I blink the right eye, and I can close the left eye almost all the way and hold
it without a whole lot of strain.
My programming partner came over tonight and we finished that C++
programming assignment I mentioned before. It went a lot better this time. The last time
we worked on it I could hardly use the eye. It was very comical actually, he would talk
and I would type. When I would make a typo, he'd give me directions on where and
how to fix it, maybe you would have had to be there.
Haven't heard from you others about your experiences with the
Prednesone demon. Frankly it worries me a bit. Like I've said before I've always been the
one who reacts more severely to drugs than most. Probably because I rarely use them. I'm
happier eating right and staying active. I was in an accident once that required going
under the knife. I guess they administered enough drug to knock me out based on my age,
health and weight. Well they almost didn't wake me up. The RN said I was gone to far and
to long, gave her a bit of a fright. So that's why I come across a little leery about
these nose bleeds the last few days, now I've had nose bleeds all my life, just like any
other guy, but the fact that I'm on Prednesone and all the other stuff makes me
suspicious. That's why I'd like to hear from all of you about your particular side
effects, if any.
The Father-in-law is having a pretty hard time of it. Evidently part
of his heart died. I'm not sure what that means, I know what it sounds like it means. He
has been given 6-12 months to live and they sent him home to die. Makes me feel really
silly for being so caught up in a disease that for the most part just disfigures us a
little. We don't have to worry about dying from it. Remember my Father-in-law if
you will, his name is Hal and he is a really wonderful man. Has always been there for us,
no matter the need. A Strong Proud German who is always more concerned about you than
himself, even now.
Day Seventeen 4/6/97 Wanted to put a
little something before I post this today. I slept the whole night, so maybe I better
ditch the caffeine for a little while. Talk again later.
All in all a good day. Seem to be experiencing some more stomach
trouble, only a couple more days on the Prednesone. I notice I still have the funny taste
in my mouth even though I'm down to 10 mg/day now.
For the first time in 40 years I have a sore face. Sore from the
muscles working again. I've got about 40-50% of my smile back and can start a wink with
the left eye. It's getting easier to hold the eyelid down, but it pops open when I fall to
sleep, I hate it when that happens. All of this hasn't stopped me from being me though.
I have a tendency to surround my self with loud laugh a lot people. We are well
known on campus, always laughing out loud. Still feels really funny when I burst into one
of my full body laughs and the face still isn't quite following, but I have fun never the
less. I think I have the best wink on campus too!
Day Eighteen 4/7/97 First day back
at school, Spring Break is always too short. A lot more face movement and I was able to
stay at school the whole day. No eye pain, just couldn't keep it focused worth a darn.
Actually met a lady that had Bell's 8 years ago. she wasn't
treated with steroids, she was treated with antibiotics instead and recovered fully.
Full Recovery? I'm not convinced there is such a thing. I don't
believe any of us can go through any experience and come out of it any where near the
same, physically or emotionally. I'm not even "fully recovered" on my left side
and I find my self experiencing moments of panic when I feel something odd on the right
side or the left side seems to loose a little of the movement I've gained back. I can
imagine I'll experience this for the rest of my life.
I'm really enjoying hearing from folks and sharing our experiences.
I still haven't heard much from folks about their eyelids. Sounds funny, but it seems to
be the thing I worry most about.
Please do write, I will make the time to respond, and It would be
nice to hear from other men with Bell's too.
Day Nineteen 4/8/97 My face is still
a bit sore, more so than yesterday. Still can't puff up my cheeks and hold air or water in
my mouth. I've gotten pretty good at rinsing out my mouth after brushing my teeth though.
The youngest, Jeff, age 3, thinks his Dad is crazy. Wants to know when my face won't be
broken any more.
My face, both sides, feels really puffy. Like when you get the
Mumps. More movement though. It's amazing how we can loose our facial control so quickly
and it takes so long for it to come back.
Day Twenty 4/9/97 Off of the
Prednesone now and I'm liking it. Still feeling some effects from it. The taste is still
in my mouth and my hunger is still more than normal. Maybe the taste will go away in a few
days.
My face is still sore, sore to the touch that is and the progress
seems to have slowed down. Don't experience the leaps and bounds of improvement like I
was. I have this fear that I'll stop improving once the Prednesone wears off. Think
positive William!
Had a good day at school, just can't keep the eye focused, using
plenty of eye drops and I close often. Not experiencing any irritation, just the inability
to focus on things. I feel a bit of tension around the eye so I wonder if the muscles are
coming back and squeezing the eye a little out of shape. I'll ask the Doc. Still doesn't
blink on it's own though. Any one reading this, please tell me about your experience with
the eyelid.
Day Twenty One 4/10/97 Classes
canceled today, good thing cuz the stupid eye still isn't' focusing. I've got to go see
the Doctor or Nurse and make sure nothing goofy is going on. Pretty much took it easy
today. Drank a lot of water, I've been having really bad cramps the last few days, in my
legs, back and sides. My supervisor at work thinks I need to up my Calcium and Phosphates,
says the Prednesone probably caused it too.
Still having improvement in facial movement, I think the eyebrow is
all the way back. Still cant move anything around the eye and the nose. My neck is maybe
30% working. My hearing is still exaggerated. We have a load household and sometimes I
can't take it, I'm the one making most of the noise.
Sleeping really well. In fact I took a nap from 12 - 5 PM and then
went to bed at 10 PM and up at 5:30. It's nice to be able to sleep again.
Week Four 4/11/97 - 4/17/97
Day Twenty Two 4/11/97 Other than the
blurry vision today was a good day. The blurry vision made it tough to take notes off of
the chalk board, but I did my best and my instructors are behind me 100%.
When I got home from school today I tried using the lubricated eye
drops more often and it really helped. I thought I was putting enough in, but I guess I
was mistaken.
Today is the 1st day of the 4th week. Two things will never be the
same, the first full day of Spring 3/21/97 and Fridays.
Seemed to get a little more movement all around today, not much, but
any improvement will be accepted gratefully. Face muscles are still a bit sore from being
used again. It was suggested by Frances that I make funny faces in order to exercise the
muscles. She mentioned how she does this sometimes driving down the road, getting or
giving people the opportunity to laugh. I was doing this on the way home from school
today, bet I was the topic of conversation for a while. I think it helps too. It also
gives me a chance to measure any increase in movement.
Day Twenty Three 4/12/97 Honey Do's
kept me really busy today. We are slowly building another bedroom for the 2nd oldest in
the basement. She's been in the room for about 3/4 of year now and we are just putting up
the drywall. Kept my mind off of the Bells, maybe it will help me get rid of this new
found weight. I've been off of the Prednesone for about a week now and am feeling a lot
better. Sleeping well and have a normal appetite, normal for me that is.
Tried to keep the eye lubricated more. It really helps. Better too
much than not enough.
Getting some of the neck muscles working now, but the muscles under
my eye seem to be really sagging. Look like I could use some sleep on the left side. I can
hold my eye shut if I close if with my finger, other wise I get it about 3/4 the way shut
and feel like I really have to work at it to hold it there. I appreciate the email I've
received from you all about the eyelid problems that come along with Bells, it was useful,
Thank You.
Day Twenty Four 4/13/97 The
improvements have been slower coming. Kind of frustrating, but I would guess it's to be
expected. I'm feeling less and less the lingering affects of the Prednesone. I received an
email from one of you explaining that the funny taste in the mouth may not be from the
Prednesone, but from the damaged taste buds instead. I think you are right, because I
still have the funny taste in my mouth. It's not near as bad, but I can still detect it.
Still no eye blink. The muscles under my eye, lower lip and neck
still don't move at all.
I'm getting really frustrated with the eye though. Can't read or see
the chalk board 90% of the time. Only have 5 weeks of school left in this semester and we
all know what that means, Finals! With 100% attendance and good grades, my Instructors
have been willing to work with me, and it's greatly appreciated, but I want to be able to
function at my old level. I know, give it time, that's what every one says
Day Twenty Five 4/14/97 No classes or work today. I've really been giving the eye a lot of attention. Is there such a thing as taking to much care of the eye? Any input from those passed this hurdle, please email me with your input at brishsew@sisna.com or riw17502@nidc.edu.
Day Twenty Six 4/15/97 At the end of
some nights I feel like I loose some of the days progress toward 100% recovery. Could be
my facial muscles are just tired. My speech seems to be effected the most. I drool more
and my P's and to a smaller extent my B's take more effort to say.
Tomorrow is the big 40!
Day Twenty Seven 4/16/97 Happy
Birthday Bill! The BIG 40!
Caught a lot of teasing at work and school today. It didn't hurt too
terrible much. "Over the Hill" seemed to be the catch phrase of the day.
When I got home, I found the house decorated with tombstones with
R.I.P.s. Also, instead of a Happy Birthday banner there was an Over The Hill banner. The
kids seemed to get a kick out of it. I was a little concerned about what they would sing.
I am happy to report it was the good old traditional Happy Birthday Song and not the Death
March.
I'm happy to report that I've got 70 to 75% of the smile on my left
side. It's still a some what unique looking smile. I have noticed I now compensate for the
lack of muscle control with new facial expressions. They are fooling folks, both those
that know about my Bell's Palsy and those that don't. My laugh has changed too. I normally
laugh loud enough for 4 or 5 people, but now it's this half laugh and hardly involves my
face at all.
I've been able to manipulate and chew food on the left side here as
of late. When I first got the Bell's Palsy I would forget and push the food to the left
side. I'd then have to tilt my head to the right and hope gravity would send the food to
the right side, before it fell out of the left side. Still can't swish water or hold air
in my mouth.
A good day. My 40th, but I only feel a day older than yesterday.
Day Twenty Eight 4/17/97 No classes
today, but did go to work. A bit frustrating. Part of my job is to help fellow students
out when they have difficulties on the computers. It's really hard when I can't focus. I
do my best and my fellow students seem to appreciate it.
Spent the rest of the day trying to study and finish a take home
test for Circuits. A tough day.
Week Five 4/18/97 - 4/24/97
Day Twenty Nine 4/18/97 I think,
starting with the 5th week, I'll begin recording weekly. We'll see how it goes after that.
Bill
I wrote the above sentence about a week or more ago. Have caught a
bit of guff, seems folks want a day to day. Can't blame any one, that's the whole reason I
started this.
I mentioned before how Fridays would always have a new meaning for
me, well today is my 4 week anniversary and the first day of the fifth week. I remember
going to the Bells Forum and believing I would be one of those people who had fully
recovered by the end of the 2nd week. I guess the Big Guy in the Sky has other plans.
Day Thirty 4/19/97 I noticed today,
while doing some home made facial exercises, that the muscle under my left eye would
twitch. I was excited. I watch my 3 1/2 year old son and am always amazed at the things he
gets excited about. A twitching muscle is of great importance to me these days. It gave me
the motivation to continue doing the facial therapy. I'm getting better able to raise my
upper lip. I've always been able to do the Elvis lip raise on the left side and it looks
like I will still be able to do it. It's not a complete Elvis lip impression yet, but I
have full confidence I'll be back on the road soon!
Still have a lot of blurry vision. A funny story. On 4/16/97 I had
to go and renew my Driver's License. I explained to the DMV Official that I had Bell's and
how it had been affecting my left eye, my "good" eye. I asked her if I could get
a deferment, extension or whatever until my eye was back to normal and I didn't have to be
chauffeured around. She said NO. She suggested we do a vision screen on the right eye. The
right eye, I thought. I have 20/450 vision in that eye. With eye glasses it's 20/40, good?
Yes, except the focus area on the back of my eye is mostly scar tissue, why? I nor the
family eye Doctor don't know. I went ahead and took the eye screen. I can see things, but
I don't necessarily see them in a congruent picture. So I guessed the order of the letters
on the 20/40 line and passed. She explained that I only needed one eye with 20/40 vision
to get my drivers license renewed. I wonder how may one eyed, semi blind people are out on
our roads driving. I know I'd be a threat to public safety if I covered my left eye and
tried driving with my right eye. Amazing!
Day Thirty One 4/20/97 Pretty much
an uneventful day. Feel like the progress toward improving has really slowed down. I don't
think I say my P's as well as I was. This whole thing is pretty subjective so I have to
remember to get input from Kari and the kids.
Heard from a couple folks who were able to benefit in some small way
from the Diary. One young man just came down with Bell's Palsy and was happy to get an
insight of the road that may lay ahead of him. I'm glad folks are getting a positive
feeling from the Diary.
My studies are really being affected. I'm plugging away, only 4 more
weeks of school and we are out for the semester. Hope this thing is completely gone by the
beginning of the Fall Semester.
Day Thirty Two 4/21/97 Found out in
Circuits class today that we all had been exposed to the Whooping Cough last week, and
possible as early as the week before. Dang. I'm not worried for me, but for our 3 1/2 yr.
old son. The School Nurse, who is the one that diagnosed me with Bell's Palsy, wrote
everyone a prescription for whatever. Says it causes some side effects, especially hard on
the stomach. Here I go again. Gonna take them for the boy's sake.
Still fighting with this blurred vision. I tried an experiment last
night. I slept without the tape or patch over my eye and did just fine. Found myself
putting my eye into my pillow, but didn't wake up to any eye trouble. Gonna try it again
tonight. My eye wasn't as blurry this morning, but by the time I attended a few classes it
was completely out of focus. I know, give it time, and I will.
Day Thirty Three 4/22/97 No classes or work so Kari, Jeff, and I did yard work. If you've watched the news you'll know we have a lot of water, more than we need right now. The skies cleared today so we took the opportunity to doing some spring cleaning around the yard. In addition to the rain and melting snow pack, we have had some really high winds (all of which is normal for this time of year, actually about 1 week late). We are getting the yard ready to take down a few of the old Bull Pines before they fall down. Our neighbor is over 100' away, but one of the trees would reach his house and I don't want a murder by tree on my conscience. It was nice to be out and about, never even thought about my Bell's.
Day Thirty Four 4/23/97 Slept again
without the tape or patch. The eye was good until about noon. Not bad. Still I wonder some
times if I'm gaining any muscle control back, especially the lower lip and under the eye.
Kari says the area under my eye is looking less baggy. I'm keeping a positive outlook, but
as you all know it's hard sometimes.
Heard from another person who was helped by reading this Diary. I
like knowing people are benefiting. Keep writing.
Day Thirty Five 4/24/97 I was
supposed to go on a three day Engineering/Computer Science field trip to Seattle. Took my
name off of the list because of the eye trouble. Sure was looking forward to going. The
plan was to visit Companies that were employing all of the things we are learning about.
Perhaps next time.
Improvements in mobility are still happening, but at an increasingly
slower rate. Which is okay. I'd be very concerned if no improvement was the case. Seem to
have days where my tongue has the gingerbread taste a lot and other days I don't notice it
at all. Still no lower lip, under the eye, and worse of all no blink. However, I've gotten
more of the cheek back. The smile is getting better slowly, but surely.
I think I'm discovering that when I engage myself in activities that
take a lot of concentration, I forget to blink. The eye does a lot better when I make the
effort to blink often. When I'm at school and one of the computers does a back flip and I
have to work on it I forget to blink and then I've pretty much lost it for the day. Time
heals.
Week Six 4/25/97 - 5/1/97
Day Thirty Six 4/25/97 The first day of
week 6. No celebration. Got a phone call from a friend who was injured about 2 years ago.
It resulted in his being confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life. He's been
having a tough time of things, with the adjustment and all. Well he calls to see how I'm
doing. Right when I was feeling sorry for my self too. Put things in perspective.
Day Thirty Seven 4/26/97 Spent the
whole day outside. We had three 85 year old "Bull" Pines chopped down yesterday
and what a mess. Limbs every where. Again, I forgot to blink and the wind played real
havoc on my eye. It was a lot of fun though. Anytime I get the opportunity to torture my
kids by making them do hard physical labor, I'm very happy in deed.
The same today. A small amount of improvement, I don't notice it,
but Kari assures me I'm still in the race to finish.
Day Thirty Eight - Forty Two
4/27/97-5/1/97 A very busy week. Only one more week to go and I have Finals to take. I'm
in good shape, but they still take more of my time. Each is a comprehensive final and
requires a bit of review on my part. I do study with friends, so the process isn't a
solitary one.
Not much pain in the eye this week, but still experiencing a lot of
blurred vision as before. I've been sleeping with no eye covering and have enjoyed that a
lot. Still have the funny ginger bread taste in my mouth. Some days it seems very strong
and others only barely noticeable.
Toward the end of the week I noticed the muscles under the lip and
eye were feeling a bit tighter. Even got some twitching from them. Still couldn't move
them voluntarily though.
I'll have to admit I was a bit down this week. Entirely because of
this damn eye. I think I mentioned before I was raised around the hearing impaired. Mostly
deaf. In fact my older brother, Bobby, has been deaf from birth. I have also been exposed
to several people who are blind and even some with both blindness and deafness. I value my
eyes a great deal. I find I get very concerned about the whole thing. I'll be glad when
this thing is over, but at the same time I can appreciate the opportunity it has given me
to reflect on what is important.
Week Seven 5/2/97 - 5/8/97
Day Forty Three 5/2/97 A good day. Eye
still blurry, but I feel like I have more energy. It might be the fact that it was a sunny
day and I could spell grass and flowers every where. The days are getting longer too. It's
almost Summer. Makes kids out of all of us I think.
Day Forty Four 5/3/97 Checked my
email today heard from halfway around the world. I'm not certain yet, but I think all the
way from Israel? I'm going to email Uri back and see. Uri is a book binder/repairer, if
you have any need of Uri's services please go to his Web Site: Uri's Home Page , I'm sure he will
appreciate your visit.
I was able to move, slightly, the muscle under my left eye this
morning. A good sign. Also the muscle under my lip is coming back. I can almost hold air
in my mouth. I think it's a good thing to be put in a position where we are made to
appreciate little things.
Day Ninety Four, 6/23/97 It's
been a while since my last entry. School let out for Summer Vacation and my attention went
in many directions. The main direction was looking for and finding work.
I've received many emailings from folks either with friends or
themselves having just started on the road to recovery from Bell's Palsy. Many have
assumed that because I haven't made any recent entries, I am fully recovered. I wish it
were the case. I haven't made a lot of progress in the last 50 days. Still absolutely no
eye blink. I would say, if I have made any improvement, it's been in the face and neck.
I've been told that our eyes are sympathetic, and because of this I've been experiencing
some eye trouble with the right eye too. I find I'm lax at caring for my left eye. What
ever you do don't neglect the eye. Take care of it with good eye drops or ointments.
A popular question these days asks about the effectiveness of the
dreaded "Prednesone." If I had to do it again I would stay absolutely away from
it. I have no pleasant memories of it. I have found nothing supporting its effectiveness
in speeding up the recovery time. I think they give it to us to make us feel like we're
doing something.
The most important thing I have found is that we can't let each
other get down. Down on ourselves or loose hope. We can't sell our selves short with the
attitude that we will only be whole if we make a complete recovery. Our outward physical
appearance has absolutely nothing to do with our value. Help me if I have forgotten, but
my face went limp not my abilities. There are a couple of folks I'd like you all to talk
too. Especially if your further along the road to recovery. Let them know there is light
at the end of the tunnel, and that the tunnel is only there if we let it be. Make the time
to talk to Lisa at Sattorrii@aol.com, She's great
to talk with and will respond right away to an emailing. She's still new to Bells Hells,
as she calls it, and pregnant. She needs our support. Please write to Debbie at dconner@iAmerica.net , She's brand new to our
ranks.
Thank you Reverend Bill. I kill me sometimes. I really believe what
I write. Believe me I got down a lot too.
6 months, 9/21/97 Well here I am at the six month
mark. Seems like I developed Bells such a long time ago. When I sit and really
think about it I am amazed at how fast things have really gone.
I am still experiencing some of the effects of Bells. A little
drooling now and then. I notice that the more tired I am the more I feel some of the left
over effects of the Bells. It must be more noticeable to us than to others, because
I was in the kitchen eating a candy when my wife noticed my left eye drooping. I
think she thought it was starting all over again. I explained to her that my eye
droops when I'm chewing food. Also my left eye closes when I yawn.
I do experience some eye blurring after a long day of reading and
studying or as the case is more often than not, a long day (sun up to sun down, okay maybe
a little past sun down) of FLY-FISHING!!!
All in all I think I've come a long way from total facial paralysis
and I'm happy.
Even though I am mostly out of the woods I'd still like to hear from
other folks, especially those reading this Diary for the first time. Just email me
at brishsew@sisna.com
Thanks
Bill ;-\
Nine months, 12/31/97 It is New Year's Eve, and I thought I'd make the time
to sit down and add to my diary.
It's now a bit more than 9 months since I began my journey down the
Bell's Palsy lane. It seems like a long time ago, and it seems like yesterday. When I read
my diary, I'm reminded of how a lone a person can feel with this Palsy.
I've heard from many people who have just started on the journey, and my
heart goes out to them. Take it a day at a time, and know that the experience will make
you a stronger person, if you allow it to. It's a proactive thing, can't just sit and feel
sorry for your self. As for me, I still need to cover the eye at night.
I wake up with some dryness if I don't, usually I don't. I get a lot of soreness still in
the cheek. Eyelid does all sorts of strange, spontaneous things. Yawning, chewing and
opening my mouth cause the lid to partially close. Still a little drooling, but not nearly
as much.
I've been having some head aches, so I'm gonna have it checked out.
Otherwise I'm doing very well.
I hope everyone's New Year brings them everything they want and deserve,
and that they are both the same.
Bill ;-\
One Year, 3/7/98 It is 2 weeks from my one year anniversary. No celebration planned. Just an update. I finally went to the VA about some of the residual problems I'm having. They agreed to do a CAT Scan. The scan came back normal. I was quite pleased, as was my wife Kari.